To the people around me like family and friends, I was known as a tough woman, independent enough to deal with every challenges and problems life has to offer. I was one of the hardest to destroy by any kind of storm that has passed. I was the one who can handle any emotional pain and can manage to bring back the broken pieces of me in place.
I used to be an adviser, a counselor, and the wall to lean on to the people closest to me. I was the one who always takes good care of the people who are dear to me. I was with a quick mind who always offer ideas in some difficult situations. I used to provide possible solutions to some problems.
I always give my smile to those who had a bad day. I was brave enough to never give up easily in life. I always keep myself better and stronger for those who need my shoulder to cry on. I always offer my hands and arms to those who need a home to warmth on.
I thought nothing could put me down too easily.
But I was wrong.
Now I feel tired of being strong. I am tired to smile. I am tired of being tough. I am tired of being always fine eventhough I really feel like I’m crushing inside.
I am tired of lending my shoulder and catching other’s tears knowing that I am also crying inside. I am tired of solving other’s problem while in fact I have also my own to deal with. I’m tired of feeling okay.
I am really tired, or I must say, I am exhausted.
And I’m draining.
I think I need a break – emotionally, physically and mentally. I think I deserve my turn.
This time, I need someone to hold my hand when things get tough. I need someone to listen to all the sufferings I feel inside. I need a shoulder to catch my tears and someone that will tell me that everything will be alright.
I need someone who will help me to pick every broken pieces of me and make me whole again. Someone who will catch me whenever I feel like I’m falling.
I need someone who will give me a sweet smile when I have a bad day. Someone who will remind me that I’m just only a human being and that feeling tired is totally fine.
I need someone to share with the weights and burdens I have in this world so I can take a rest even for a while.